Have u ever thought about the most memorable moments of Ur Life???

Have u ever thought what makes them so special and close to Ur heart??

It’s usually the FIRST time u feel or find something U’ve never felt or found before…

And what IF something soooooooooo hilarious makes it even more memorable……….

Hehehehehehehe….

There was this lovely couple who got married to each other... He and She had met each other just six months back, and knew they were made for each other...

There were so many Dreams, so many Wishes, so many Hopes and so many unsaid Expectations, and not to forget, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many Apprehensions..

OBVIOUSLY NA……

Everything went smoothly after their wedding except…….Both of them desperately wanted to get some Private time when the two of them could do all the KUCHIKUING they had always wanted to.. But u know (sigh!), shaadi ke baad ye saare Relatives jo ghar par peheredaaron ki tarah jame rehte hain…Uffffffffffffffffffff… there was nearly no time all day...

 FINALLY the much awaited night came, the FIRST night... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW… the loooooooong awaited moment came... when they would be One But some things aren’t just there in the larger scheme...

There enters His Mom, and asked him to come with her & She was left wondering what Happened??

He comes back to the room after few mins (that were like ages for her), with a totally different look…

Dil par paththar rakhkar he tells her- “Shona! Shweetu, all the rituals are not completed yet...Mom would be sleeping with U tonight, I’ll be sleeping in their room with Dad...”

“Oh God…..   Does this happen with everyone, or is it just us??” she thought

Seeing her silence, he said “I’ll miss u terribly Sweetheart”

“Me too” she said quietly

They embraced each other tightly coz they knew that the night was going to be loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong….

The next day started with Him waking her up so gently and lovingly... he was at the bedside caressing her when she woke up... They had missed each other terribly, and it needed no words to express that...

“Wow, finally after today’s pooja, everything would be fine...” She hoped

Day passed by smoothly. They had to go to her Maayka, the usual ceremony u know...

They came back home, had a chit chat with parents bout the whole day, and then Finally proceeded to their Room…… drowned in their own sleep that was pending since their wedding But …

As soon as they stepped in their room they found that the room had been decorated beautifully with flowers all around.  Yipppppppppppppie….

Sarthak (His Brother) had been busy the whole day getting their room decorated with Flowers while they were away...

It was such a Pleasant SURPRISE...  She felt so overwhelmed, hugged him and thanked him...

“This is ur Wedding gift from me” said Sarthak

Finally they went to the room again and it was locked from inside...

Suddenly they were both so nervous... They had been waiting desperately for this moment of intimacy...

He moved towards her, hugged her tightly, gave a peck on her cheek, and she smiled...

“U know what?? I’m nervous” she said, while he was removing the pins that were holding her Blue saree in place….

He looked at her, smiled and said “Me too Sweetheart.”

“Really?? U look fine”

He kissed her for her sweet innocence and said “Don’t worry, we wont go any further till u r comfortable with it. I don’t want us to sleep all night, just want to caress u and give u all the love I have”

She kissed him back and held him tighter..

They were cuddled up in each others arms in bed, and were chatting and kissing each other and again talking..

“Something is missing” He said

“What??”

“Let me play some mushy music.”  He said

“That’s a good idea.” She nodded. After all it was one common liking they had.

“Where is my laptop??” he said while searching for it.

She was admiring him.

”Oh God!!! Oh no!! Wo to Mom Dad ke room mein hai...” he suddenly remembered.

They glanced at the watch... 11.45 only...

“If I go now to get it from there, they’ll think their son is a BIG JERK”

She couldn’t help laughing... He admired her smile... It was all that he wanted, just to make her happy, give her more happiness than she could ever dream of...

“Yaar, I really want to play a song for u. Wait, let me get it. I don’t care what they think.” And he started wearing his clothes to go out just hoping that Sarthak is sleeping. And yes, he was...

He marched to his parents’ room, they were still awake...

“What Happened??”  Asked his Mom looking at him with saucer-wide eyes.

“Is everything ok??”  Asked his Dad.

“Don’t worry, everything’s fine. I just came to get my laptop.”  He said trying to sound cool

“Laptop??” his father glanced at his watch “At Twelve in the night?? Right now??”

He just took it and walked back to the room leaving them with a blank ex-pression, and so many unanswered questions...

“Got it??” She asked

“Yessssssssssssss!”  He said with a huge smile as if a small baby got a new toy.

He jumped on the bed and played mushy romantic music for her...

“They must be wondering ki Bete ko seedha hona chahiye, par itna bhi nahi. Pata nahi ye kuchh karega bhi ya nahin” he said, and she bursted out laughing.

He felt soooooooo good inside hearing that laughter again that he held her tightly again and sealed her lips with his...

Slowly she found his hand unbuttoning her blouse and held him closer to her. His touch was heavenly

“I hope u have a condom” she asked.

“Yes! Of course, many” he said and winked smilingly..

“You need just one, right now.” She specified.

“I’ll just get it, its right here in my almirah” he got up and started searching.

“Oh Shit!! Oh Shit!!” he shrieked..

“Now what??” she was thinking and looking at him with that question on her face.
 “Since We r going on our honeymoon tomorrow, I…”

“What?” She asked

“Kept them in my suitcase”

“Great!! Where is it??” she asked

“That’s the problem….. It’s in Sarthak’s room”

That was it, and both of them burst out laughing and hugged each other again..

“I have to get it from there” he said, and she was still laughing and rolling on the bed..

“Wow... That is just so funny. I’ve seen that somehow or the other u have to do what u don’t want to” she said while enjoying the sweet romantic music and playing with the roses on the bed and looking at him with that inviting and teasing look..

He got up again and wore his clothes all over again to go to Sarthak’s room this time...

“Good luck” she said teasing him. “I hope he doesn’t wake up”

He slipped out into his brother’s room like a thief trying to steal in his own house...

The suitcase was lying right next to his bed. It was not even closed properly, but in any case, zipping it would mean a great risk of waking him up...

So there he was, quietly pulling it inch by inch...

Finally, he came back to the room as if he had won a battle...

“Got it.” He said, and opened it, and put his hand in its pocket while his eyes were admiring her rolled in the sheet...

Suddenly, his ex-pression changed... “Where is it?? I kept them in this pocket so that no one finds them.”

“No one?? Not even u??” She said, smiled at him and winked at him.

“U know u r just shhhhhhho cute...”

He was scratching his head and wondering where the hell he kept them; she was just admiring his ex-pressions and smiling.

“Oh God Shona!! I’m so stupid. I took them out from this suitcase for tonight and kept them in the other drawer of my almirah” he suddenly recalled. rushed to open the drawer, and guess what……………….

No nothing went wrong this time...

He jumped on her, and hugged her, she hugged him back... they kissed on and on and on...

“I want to tell u something.” She said.

“I’m not nervous anymore” she said smiling at him

“Me too...” he said

“U know what?? U’ve made this night so much more memorable for me” she said and winked at him laughing aloud, he admired her beautiful smiling face, and sealed her lovely smile with his never ending kisses...

“I LOVE U SWEETHEART” he said while looking deep in her eyes and a silent tear rolled down her cheek, and he licked it.

And so went the kuchikuing all night, a night that gave a new meaning to their relationship, a night that marked the beginning of a new sunshine, a night that brought them closer to each other…

Yes it was indeed,

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER...

On Evaluating Employee Performance (From a Manager to an Employee)

I admit it. I have a love/hate attitude about performance evaluations. I love it when you do great work and I get to tell you, and perhaps reward you for your contributions. On the other hand, I hate it when you don’t do great work, and I not only have to tell you, but also deal with your objections, disappointment, and even hostility.

Doing performance evaluations is a basic responsibility of management. It’s necessary to ensure we all get the feedback we need to keep our performance on track. But it’s a part of the job I’m not always comfortable with. Think it’s easy to play judge and jury over someone else’s work? Trust me, it isn’t – especially if my assessment affects your salary…and your future. And the more people I have to appraise, the tougher it gets.

Most people think they do great work. Many of them are right…but not all of them. In the end, I must call it like I see it. That’s all I can do. That’s all you could do if you walked awhile in my shoes.
 
On Performance Evaluations (From an Employee to a Manager)

From my perspective, both the best and the worst thing about performance evaluations is that they usually only happen once a year. Why best? Because they tend to be tedious and sometimes painful processes – similar to annual trips to the dentist. Why worst? Because all too often, they’re the only time I get any detailed feedback on how well I am (or am not) doing. And sometimes even that doesn’t happen “constructively.”

Evaluations represent “scaryland” for me because they are subjective in nature. Your opinion is going to affect my future. And there are no guarantees that one evaluator (and most of the time it is just one evaluator) really knows my job and how well I do it. So sometimes I can’t help but worry that my rating will be based solely on how well you like me. I worry you’ll forget the good and remember only the bad. And I worry that my input won’t be considered in the process.

I understand that performance evaluations probably aren’t the most favorite part of your job. But they are important to me…I’ve got a lot riding on them. Maybe you could consider periodically giving me a little more informal feedback – the kind where there’s not so much on the line. Have strong feelings about performance evaluations? Walk awhile in my shoes!

Excerpt  from Walk Awhile in My Shoes:

I was at a party, relaxed, enjoying myself when the joke telling began: “There were three ______ who went to the …” The joke progressed. It was clearly demeaning to a group of people.

The face of my close friend and colleague popped into my mind – he is a member of the group being debased. Two different voices – the proverbial angel and devil on my shoulder – filled my head.

“Monu, say something! You know you don’t support this!”

“Relax it’s a party! Have fun…lighten up. People won’t like you if you can’t take a joke.”

“Speak up, you coward! You can’t talk about valuing diversity all day at work and then stereotype people for entertainment at night. Be true to yourself.”

In those long seconds while I twitched and struggled with what to do, the disk jockey, who was sitting with us on a break, simply said, “Whoa! I’m not going there. I think I'd rather get something to drink.” He got up and walked across the room. I hopped up and followed him: “Great idea.”

I’ll never forget what happened next. Others in the group joined us at the bar, leaving only two people to hear the joke’s punch line. I was amazed. Few of us wanted to hear the joke, but we went along anyway. It took just one voice – one person casually speaking up against disrespect – to shift the entire conversation.

-Author unknown to me

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.

P.S. Few of you might have read this before, so please excuse this pirated version posted purely for universally beneficial reasons..

Its when I had just completed my PG & was about to leave the town to join for my new job in a different city.. The time gap between the announcement of result & my departure dat was very short. I had to collect all my documents which included my no-dues certificate & the migration certificate from the university before leaving..  Hence I had been running around from pillar to post to get things moving.

Such is the fate of the administrative system, that the person who was incharge of handing me the migration certificate (Mr.X) had himself not recieved the copy of our result even after the announcement of result. Seeing my plight, he himself made an extra effort to procure the file containing the result that was stuck somewhere between various tables through which it was supposed to pass.With unadulterated humanity, he prepared the certificate & got it signed from the Registrar of the university as well so that I could get my other documents done in the meanwhile.

Viz-a-viz I remember another babu (Mr.Y) in the same section who had pasted the notice on his office desk that the application for the no-dues-certificate along with all other required documents needed to be given three days in advance. Since I was short of time, I narrated him my problem & he offered to prepare the certificate if some chai-pani was arranged for him.. Pressed for the time, I had to give him what he asked for & he got my certificate done as well...

I remember both Mr.X for his humility & concern as well as the tactful Mr.Y who encashed upon my majboori & made profit out of it.. I am sure most of us would have met similar kinds of people at some or other time in our lives..

When I collected my Migration certificate, I was feeling so grateful to Mr. X for his help that I wanted to reward him.. but then, a thought stopped me.. the kind of reward I could offer at that time was only monetory, If I had offered him that, a thought would have definitely come to his mind that the extra effort he did was worth reward.. In other words, somewhere I was scared that he too might also start expecting monetory returns for his efforts in future & I would be responsible for inculcating him into this habit..

Looking at it from another perspective now, seeing his peers make monetory benefits by encashing upon others limitations, I wonder if Mr.X still is as honest & helpful as he was then.. the only consolence is that  I was not responsible for bribing him then..

Yet whenever I meet the likes of Mr.Y, who happen to exist in quite a majority these days, I am left wondering how could I have rewarded Mr.X(which he so well deserved) without it being considered as bribe..?

 A few more questions remain unanswered:

- in this fast moving world when people want to get things done, don't they resort to such pleading stories so as to encash upon the humane nature of the person across the desk? It has happened with me that people have tried to take advantage on emotional grounds & get their things done.

- Others freely offer the bribe, because for them everything has a price. so how far can a person restrain himself & not give in to making easy money and that too lots of it..

For my peers there's nothing wrong about it as long as you are getting your things done & not gettings caught as well.. not doing so, on the other hand is likely to increase your troubles. And then if you can afford it & get away then why not? after all everyone feels that he is in an underpaid job & if you are getting things done faster ther's no harm.. Time is money.. yes you should learn to negotiate well   

Tired bodies

Empty souls,

Restless minds

Dark alleys

Hounding shadows;

Passionate overtures

Thwarted attempts

Eternal search

Love still eludes me…

“You didn’t bring along Sandhya” Ritu asked

“No, I didn’t” Sachin replied

“Why?”

“I left her back home.”

“Com’on you couldn’t be doing this.. Where is she?” Ritu sounded unconvinced

“Why can't?.. I m the husband.. I can do what I want. Call me an MCP but I didn’t bring her along” Sachin teased her

“Whats MCP?” she asked innocently

“You don’t know that!” I exclaimed

“No I don’t.” Ritu said inquisitively

“So let her not know it as well.” Sachin closed the conversation & so went along the light hearted banter between the three of us.

Truly this three letter word is the most despised& dreaded word for an Indian male but in reality how many of We MALES aren’t?

Blessed r we to have wives who are ignorant of this fact;  but does this absolve us from the vice? I guess not..

Have a doubt; answer this:

If both you & your wife are working, u expect Ur wife to come back home from work & cook food for you Or take care of the household chores while u relax... Why?

The kid belongs to you both but when it comes to waking up at nights or cleaning up things, it’s not your job... Why?

You want her to stop wearing the clothes she likes & wear what you like... Why?

You want her to meet only those people that you like irrespective of whether she likes them or not... Why?

You have Ur likes & dislikes that u won’t change But you want ur wife shd abandon her own likes & dislikes and adopt same likes & dislikes as that of yours... Why?

You want your wife to adjust with you, your family, your relatives & behave accordingly so as to make you proud but when it comes to adjusting with her or her relatives, you cringe... Why?

Am I sounding like a Female chauvinist... I might seem to be but then is it untrue… ?

Why can’t we as men accept the individuality of a woman & her own identity with her own likes & dislikes..? Why do we think that making so much changes in her life, all at once should be unobjectionably easy for her & that she should completely be adaptive to them whether she approves of those changes or not? Why are these expectations so high that they become impossible to achieve for the other person..?

Isn’t this all pseudo masculine ego that takes advantage of the accommodative feminine character...? Rather than quashing her identity under the pretext of “You are a Bahu, you are expected to adjust” wouldn’t it be a better way to try to seek a balance where in her opinions could also be considered? Just because she has got married, why is the onus of modifying oneself put on the Bahu only?

All this is much easier said than done & the easy way seems to be let it happen as usual. I too used to & might still subconsciously share similar expectations at times, ignoring the fact that she has already been shifted from her own house & is desperately trying her level best to adapt to the new ambience & people.

When I got married one of my uncles said, “Be independent & reasonable in thinking and respect mutual independence...” Didn’t know that it would be so difficult to practice... It really appears disgusting to hear an opinion that is contrastingly contradictory to your own and vehemently endorsed by the other individual...It takes a lot to subjugate one’s own self to allow the other one to express his/her identity & opinions. Only when I tried doing it myself for her, I realized how difficult would it have been for her to do the same for all the members of my family… Don’t know how people perceive the mushy notion of Love but  the realization that just because of me, she has left behind everything that was so comfortably hers & is now trying to adjust herself to an environment that is not only contrasting but demanding too,  has not only made her more dearer but also more respectable to me..

Love you lots Sweetheart..

12 Quick Tips for Eating to Help your heart and overall health.

By Peter Jaret, EatingWell.com

Food is far more than sustenance. The dishes we eat are often imbued with family traditions, cultural history and even personal memories—and that’s as it should be. But as studies around the world have shown, eating patterns as different from ours as those in Sweden and India can be tweaked to take advantage of the health benefits associated with traditional Mediterranean diets. Here’s how:

1. Replace butter with olive or canola oil whenever possible.

2. Snack on nuts, seeds or fruit instead of processed foods.

3. Include a generous leafy green salad with most dinners.

4. Help yourself to whole-grain bread, pasta, rice and other grains.

5. Fix at least a couple of vegetarian meals every week.

6. Add a dish or two that contains legumes (beans and lentils) to your weekly menu.

7. Have fish (not fried) at least twice a week.

8. If you eat meat, favor chicken and other poultry.

9. Eat red meat only occasionally, and in small servings.

10. If you drink, have no more than a glass or two with a meal.

11. Enjoy fruit for dessert.

12. Set aside enough time to savor every bite.

Strange are the ways of thinking & stranger still the thoughts... The eternal business that our mind keeps itself engaged in 24 x 7...  They don’t have a self unless, one gives them a shape, a shape they can acquire when given a name... But strange enough as soon as they get a name, they are categorized as Good or Bad...