“You didn’t bring along Sandhya” Ritu asked

“No, I didn’t” Sachin replied

“Why?”

“I left her back home.”

“Com’on you couldn’t be doing this.. Where is she?” Ritu sounded unconvinced

“Why can't?.. I m the husband.. I can do what I want. Call me an MCP but I didn’t bring her along” Sachin teased her

“Whats MCP?” she asked innocently

“You don’t know that!” I exclaimed

“No I don’t.” Ritu said inquisitively

“So let her not know it as well.” Sachin closed the conversation & so went along the light hearted banter between the three of us.

Truly this three letter word is the most despised& dreaded word for an Indian male but in reality how many of We MALES aren’t?

Blessed r we to have wives who are ignorant of this fact;  but does this absolve us from the vice? I guess not..

Have a doubt; answer this:

If both you & your wife are working, u expect Ur wife to come back home from work & cook food for you Or take care of the household chores while u relax... Why?

The kid belongs to you both but when it comes to waking up at nights or cleaning up things, it’s not your job... Why?

You want her to stop wearing the clothes she likes & wear what you like... Why?

You want her to meet only those people that you like irrespective of whether she likes them or not... Why?

You have Ur likes & dislikes that u won’t change But you want ur wife shd abandon her own likes & dislikes and adopt same likes & dislikes as that of yours... Why?

You want your wife to adjust with you, your family, your relatives & behave accordingly so as to make you proud but when it comes to adjusting with her or her relatives, you cringe... Why?

Am I sounding like a Female chauvinist... I might seem to be but then is it untrue… ?

Why can’t we as men accept the individuality of a woman & her own identity with her own likes & dislikes..? Why do we think that making so much changes in her life, all at once should be unobjectionably easy for her & that she should completely be adaptive to them whether she approves of those changes or not? Why are these expectations so high that they become impossible to achieve for the other person..?

Isn’t this all pseudo masculine ego that takes advantage of the accommodative feminine character...? Rather than quashing her identity under the pretext of “You are a Bahu, you are expected to adjust” wouldn’t it be a better way to try to seek a balance where in her opinions could also be considered? Just because she has got married, why is the onus of modifying oneself put on the Bahu only?

All this is much easier said than done & the easy way seems to be let it happen as usual. I too used to & might still subconsciously share similar expectations at times, ignoring the fact that she has already been shifted from her own house & is desperately trying her level best to adapt to the new ambience & people.

When I got married one of my uncles said, “Be independent & reasonable in thinking and respect mutual independence...” Didn’t know that it would be so difficult to practice... It really appears disgusting to hear an opinion that is contrastingly contradictory to your own and vehemently endorsed by the other individual...It takes a lot to subjugate one’s own self to allow the other one to express his/her identity & opinions. Only when I tried doing it myself for her, I realized how difficult would it have been for her to do the same for all the members of my family… Don’t know how people perceive the mushy notion of Love but  the realization that just because of me, she has left behind everything that was so comfortably hers & is now trying to adjust herself to an environment that is not only contrasting but demanding too,  has not only made her more dearer but also more respectable to me..

Love you lots Sweetheart..